Lily's Realization
by Joyyce
Summary: An essay about the Amortentia potion makes Lily think. Just what is that one smell? Of course, I don't own the characters... Nor the potion... Not even the way it turns out. Just... the events.


**Lily's Realization  
**

As soon as the classes of the day were over, Lily started making her Potions essay. They'd seen some weird potion in class, called 'Amortentia', and now they had to write an essay on it. They had to describe what they'd smelled when they sniffed at the potion, why they smelled it, and what could be dangerous about the potion. Lily didn't remember all that clearly what was dangerous about it, she had gone to the library to find a book about it. Once she'd found what she was looking for, she decided to stay in the library because it was so calm there.

Lily thought back to the moment she'd sniffed at the potion. She recalled smelling grass, parchment, and something she couldn't really place. She thought it was odd, because the potion was supposed to smell of things you find attractive. She'd expected to smell only things she liked.

After working on the essay for two hours, she took her things and went to the common room. Most of her friends were talking, but Lily didn't feel like it. She went to sit by the fire place, alone. She was lost in thoughts when suddenly she noticed that her arm was sore. She looked to her left, straight into the grinning face of James. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" she asked him, while she was feeling a well-known angry feeling bubble up inside her. "Well, aren't we being friendly today… I just wanted to ask you if you'd seen my new quill?" Lily gave Remus and Sirius, who were standing some feet away, a sidelong glance. Both of them looked away quickly and started laughing.

"Why should I have seen your quill? I don't spend my time keeping an eye on your stuff!" she almost shouted at him. "All right… I'll find it by myself." He seemed to be truly hurt by her not-so-friendly behavior, and she almost felt sorry for him. The moment he turned away from her, she smelled something… something that she had smelled earlier that day too. But where? Oh, that's right! In Potions, when she was sniffing the Amortentia-potion. But… didn't you only smell things you were attracted to? It couldn't be…

She wasn't able to think it through, because her friends came to her just then, to ask her what James wanted this time. She couldn't let go of the thought though, and when she finally got in bed, she thought about it. Could it be that she was in love with James? That was impossible! He was always so mean to Severus! But didn't Severus deserve it a little bit? No! It scared her that she was thinking like that. She liked Severus! It took a long time before she fell asleep. She couldn't stop thinking about it.

The next morning she had even more on her mind than the previous night. She'd had a dream about James. She was sitting under her favorite tree when James came to her. She blushed and didn't even try to stop him when he came to sit by her. She tried to stop blushing by concentrating on the book she was reading, but she couldn't help but glance sideways. Their eyes met, and she saw he was blushing too.

Without uttering a single word, he kissed her on the mouth. He got up and left again. How happy had she felt in that dream! So maybe he wasn't really that bad… Maybe he just didn't know how to behave himself around her? She realized that James had only humiliated Severus when she was around. She thought it was odd though, and she couldn't believe that she really wanted James, let alone be in love with him!

Obviously she didn't mention anything about it to her friends, they'd only laugh at her and think she'd lost her mind. She had always been the one who disliked him the most, because he was always after Severus. She'd even hated him for that for a while, but now she finally understood what people meant when they said there was only a thin line between hate and love. The more she thought it through, the more she realized she was truly in love with him. She'd known he had a crush on her for a while, but that had only annoyed her. She didn't know what to do now… How should she behave around him now? She figured it was best not to change her attitude towards him, but she doubted she'd be able to do that. If only he'd stay away from her until she knew what to do…

Half an hour had passed, and she had to hurry. She got dressed quickly, and ran directly to class, without having breakfast. Luckily she didn't have Potions that day, so she had more time to finish her essay. But where had she left it? She recalled bringing it to the common room, but she couldn't remember whether she took it to her room. She didn't have time to look for it, because she wouldn't make it to class in time if she lost any more time. All of her thoughts concerning her essay and James were immediately replaced by fear. She could be late for class today! For the first time in all her years on Hogwarts! And it would be James' fault! Well, indirectly, but still…

She did make it to class in time though, even though it was a close call. One of her friends had saved her a seat, but Sirius and James were sitting right behind her. There was no way she could avoid him now. She hesitated a while before she sat down, but her friend hadn't noticed that. She was too busy trying to open her book. It seemed to be glued together somehow…. Like by a spell. She looked behind her and saw that James and Sirius were laughing, and James was just laying his wand back on the table. She turned again and an involuntary smile crossed her face. "Did anyone see that?" she thought, and she looked towards the other students. They were all still taking out their things, so they didn't see it. She was relieved beyond words.

Suddenly she heard something. "Pssst!" She ignored it. "Pssst!" She ignored it again. She then saw a letter flying on her table. She was shaking when she opened it, and she started blushing when she read the contents of it. Written in a quivering handwriting was the sentence "Do you want to go out with me? James." This made it so much more difficult for her to figure out what she had to do, so she decided to put the letter in her book, and not answer it. She did know James wouldn't just leave it at that, but it would give her some more time.

Her suspicion was confirmed soon. Just as she was leaving the class room, she heard James say "You guys go on, there's something I need to do." What she supposed to do now? She accidentally dropped her books, and James hurried towards her to lend a hand. She quickly thanked him, but when she tried to leave he stopped her. "Err… did you read my letter?" he asked, looking her straight in the eyes. "Yes… and I was wondering what you would do if I answered affirmatively? Would you leave Severus alone?" He looked confused, as if he hadn't expected her to even think about accepting his offer. Lily looked deeply in his eyes, while James was obviously contemplating what to say. "Yes, I think I could manage to leave him alone, even though I can't speak for Sirius" he said, hesitating. "Well, make sure you can guarantee it, and I'll give you your answer." She turned around. "Oh, one more thing: if you say a word about this to anyone, I will poison you. And you know how good I am at Potions." She was smiling when she left, and she couldn't resist looking over her shoulder. James was staring at her. "Well, I guess we'd fit together better than I thought" she mumbled to no one in particular.

Luckily she didn't have a class the following hour. When she got back to the common room, she decided it was time for her to search for her essay. She found it more quickly than she had expected. It was lying on the floor right next to the chair she had been sitting in the previous night. When she picked it up, she noticed someone had written something on it, with an arrow pointing to the third smell, the one she couldn't place at first. "That's the smell of my mom's fabric softener.", written in the same handwriting that was on the letter James had given her. But how was she supposed to write her essay now? She couldn't write the truth, could she?

After her free period, it was time for lunch. She had managed to finish her essay, which was now safely in her cabin trunk, so she felt almost relieved when she entered the great hall with her friends. The tables were already filled, but there was just enough room for them to sit together. The food appeared to be better than usual, but that probably had more to do with the way she was feeling. She decided to go to the common room early, leaving her friends in the great hall. James quickly caught up with her. "Well, who do we have here… So, what's new?" she asked, smiling. She noticed that James started smiling too. "Oh, just that Snape's safety is guaranteed now. I managed to convince Sirius to leave him alone. He didn't seem to be bothered by it, but that's probably because he was getting bored by it anyway." He started laughing now. "So, about your answer…?"

After making sure no one was around, she kissed James full on the lips. James seemed to be speechless for a moment, but he recovered quickly. "So, I assume that would be a yes?"

Without knowing it from each other, they were both wondering what their friends would think of it, one felt insecure, the other ecstatic, but both happy with the newest developments.

_[AN]  
Sooo... what do you think? I've written this story some time ago for a contest in Dutch. I've made some alterations, like the language - yeah, duh-moment -  
I totally LOVE review!  
And YES, that's a not-very-subtle hint! :D  
[/AN]_


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